guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
