update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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