Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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