There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
either way he was missing a nipple.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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