every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
