The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize