no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
