What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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