have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
