someone get that fucking seahorse.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
