your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
