she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
