dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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