time to smoke my breakfast
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she told me i tasted like america
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
