I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
