No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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