Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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