TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize