Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
