"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize