I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
It's Friday. Sex?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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