Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He shit in the fireplace
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
