Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
