Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
