who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
