were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
