some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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