Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
