So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
