I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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