I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
