The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
