Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
