My sheets look like a crime scene.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
how does that bad decision feel?
Pooping to opera.
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