Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
