There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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