He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
