There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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