no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
