It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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