When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
