Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The adults are the big ones right?
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