We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
