Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
