Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
