i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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