it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
