My nipple is on Facebook.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
