party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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