You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
