I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I understand Curling. That high.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
