New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize