What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
