U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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