the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
