thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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