pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
