I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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