dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize