i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
