So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
