Are we in a gay sports bar?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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