I think I won the penis lottery.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
