I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
