you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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