You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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